Jiska
and Tani had planned to get married the 1st of December. In spite of this
being a Sunday, is would be no problem over there. One week before our departure
it seems to be impossible. Also tehre were more and more problems about
the papers they needed. A combination of the fact they never married a person
from a foreign country in Sarande and the change to a new system of administration
guaranteed a complete mess. At the police, they were also involved with
the marriage-procedure, everything was ok, but at the town-hall a paper
seems to be missing. They didn't even know this form exists. Two days before
we should go home there was a serious doubt the wedding could continue.
The wedding-party however would take place.
During out stay in Sarande there was an almost daily contact with people
in the town-hall. Why isn't there a picture of Jiska at the certificate
of birth? We don't need that in Holland. They need it over there, so we
made passport photo's. Why have the papers of Jiska, we had legalised in
Holland at the ministry of Foreign Affairs, translated and legalised again
at the Albania Embassy, not been legalised by a notary in Sarade? We went
to the notary. He told us that wasn't necessary because the were already
legalised by the Albanian Embassy. We went to the town-hall to tell them
is wasn't necessary. Yes, it is necessary. Back to the notary again and
took him to the town-hall so they can find out themselves. Indeed it was
necessary. Stamps, seals and signatures were put on the papers and after
paying 5 euro they could be married; finally. Is was already December the
3rd.
The
wedding-ceremony over there isn't very special. A quick reading of the certificate
at a desk and you are married. Everyone was wearing civilian cloths and
it also wasn't necessary that the family was present, because they are not
allowed to be witness. We didn't come all the way form Holland and not being
present at the wedding of our daughter, so we were present, together with
Tani's mother. Beside the couple and the three of us there were two female
civil servants, a sworn translator and two civil servants from the office
next door as independent witness, all together in a small
room.
They red the certificate in the Albanian and English language. Then the
couple had to say 'yes' ('po') and sign the book for the administration.
At the end a small problem: What surname does Jiska wants? Her own, Tani's
surname of would Tani like to take Jiska's surname? After some discussion
she took Tani's surname. Tani's mother distributed some traditional candy,
a kind of Turkish delight with powder-sugar. That looked like snow of the
black cloths of several of the present people. All the ceremony took about
15 minutes. When we came out, is wasn't raining, but only for a short while.
As
already said, the wedding-party would take place at the date that was planned,
Sunday December 1st. That Saturday family arrived already from other places.
Tani's grandfather, a man of 94 or 98 years old, nobody knew exactly, lives
up in the mountains. First he had to go down by horse for 1,5 hour and than
several hours by bus. We were introduced that day to many uncles, aunts,
cousins etc. I can't remember the correct family-ties any more. Everybody
gathered at the parental home of Tani.When we went there we heard outside
already a kind of singing.
As being a outsider concerning traditions in Albania, is sound like a monotonous
elegy. It seemed to be traditional songs often dedicated to a person to
wish him of her all the best and a lot of prosperity. At the day before
the wedding it is usual the family from fathers side of the groom is singing
this kind of songs. At the day of the wedding it will be mainly the family
of his others side. We were very lucky that both families had a fine ear
for music. There were even people who playd music for their profession.
At Saturday and Sunday and also Sunday-evening at the wedding members of
the family played harmonica, keyboard, clarinet and tambourine. So we also
enjoyed traditional Albanian folk-music. And when I say 'enjoyed' I really
mean enjoyed. The music sounds like the Greek rebetika. Improvising at a
musical theme they could play the song for a long time without stopping.
So that Saturday and Sunday we spent many hours making music and drinking
raki. Beside good musicians members of the family were also excellent makers
of raki and wine.
The
elder people of Sarande hardly speak English. People at the age of 20-25,
who have to take care of the coming tourist-industry, didn't had the opportunity
or didn't want to have a good education during the civil war. There were
only two members of the family, two girls at the age of 16 and 18, who spoke
excellent English. Nowadays they are thought English at a very young age.
These two girls and Tani had to be the translators all the time. Jiska does
understand the Albanian language a little bit, but not well enough to be
a translator. When I was introduced to Tani's grandfather I had to sit right
next to him and he start talking to me. Then they had to tell him I didn't
understand anything. I think I was the first person he ever met who didn't
speak Albanian. So he asked one of the girl to translate. He turned out
to be a very clever man who showed a lot of interest in where we came from
and the kind of work I do. In spite of the problems with the language, I
think a tie has grown between us. Later on he asked for our telephone-number.
As soon as he has found someone if the small village were he lives who can
speak English, he promised to phone us.
In
Holland we had bought the stuff to make a wedding-cake, because they don't
know this over there. That Saturday we baked a big cake of about 60 centimetres
diameter. At Sunday-morning we put on the sugar-glaze and the decorations;
of course the usual bride and groom in the middle. Because at Tani's place
the house was full of people, the hairdresser came to our apartment that
afternoon to do Jiska's hair. It took her more than 2 hours to fix the hair
as you can see at the picture. Together with some make-up, something Jiska
doesn't use usually, we could finally face a very pretty daughter and that
made us feel proud. In the meantime Tani arrived and wanted to see his future
wife. She was still in the bedroom trying to get on her wedding-dress. Were
all the married men who are reading this also that nervous before their
wedding?
The
wedding-party would start at Sunday-evening at 8 o'clock pm in a restaurant
close to Tani's parental home. Because it was raining again at the time
we would go there we had to take care for transport of the couple and the
guests. Fortunately several people had a car, a Mercedes. We had to take
the wedding-cake with us also and had to keep it in our hands. The cake
in the backside of the car in combination with the condition of the roads
wouldn't be such a good idea. Finally the family (and the cake) arrived
without getting wet or other problems at the restaurant. Some relatives
already had installed their instruments and sound equipment at the ground
floor. At a kind of podium there were tables for the circa 50 guests. An
unexpected problem occurred. The bride had a hoop-petticoat underneath her
wedding-dress and with that hoop she couldn't sit at the table. So quickly
to the toilet and pull of that hoop.
The
restaurants should only take care for the food. The family was allowed to
bring their own beer (Mythos) and soft-drinks. It will be much cheaper if
you bring your own drinks, the owner of the restaurant had told. Do they
have this possibility in Holland also? Some relatives also brought home-made
wine and raki. The home-made wine would only be for me and my wife. They
didn't dare to give this to the other guests, because it contained quite
some alcohol. The wine was very tasteful and you can drink it like water,
so they were afraid that half of the guests would be underneath the table
halfway the party. There were also o lot of water-bottles on each table;
that's what we thought. We saw people pouring in only half glasses of water.
Let's smell; yes, raki!
Something they can do very well in Albania is saying: cheers! It started
that Saturday and stopped at Sunday at the and of the party. Before they
take a drink they say "gezuar" and you have to touch glasses every
time whit all the present people. After a lot of "gezuar" we just
pretend to take a drink, because you as parents of the bride you can't permit
to get drunk. But during this week I have tasted the stuff more than enough.
Maybe because the wine and raki were without chemicals or that kind of stuff,
but I never had a hangover next day. Maybe it is also because we always
had something to eat when we were drinking.
As
a starter we get mezedes: cheese, ham, egg, olives, keftadakia, cucumber
and tomato. Half of the people were eating and the others were dancing.
The music hadn't not even started of there were at least 10 people at the
dance-floor. It looked like Greek dances. Holding each others hand and dancing
in a circle with, for us being Dutch, difficult steps at first sight. Who
cares, after some raki's I can dance any dance if I have to.
After
the mezedes we get a fish each; about 300 grams. I don't know what kind
of fish it was, but is was very tasteful. In the meanwhile there were speeches,
people were singing (with or without music) and there was dancing. The last
meal was a big piece of sheep-meat (unfortunately I don't have pictures
of it). Jiska as well as my wife don't like this kind of meat so they had
some pork-meat. I thought it was delicious, but because of all there other
food we already had, I only finished a small part of it.
During
that evening Jiska and Tani gave each other the rings. Grandpa gave the
rings to the couple on the dance-floor where the put it on each others fingers.
Then the couple cut the cake and both of them took a little piece. The rest
of the cake was cut in little pieces and served to the other guests. Then
the new couple lead the dance while the other guests were clapping hands.
Grandpa told Tani to be careful not to get to tired, because he had to keep
some energy left for the night. In spite of his age grandpa seems to make
that kind of remarks more often. The family already told us that they called
him naughty. During the dance Tani was waving a burning hanky. This means
he isn't a bachelor anymore. The hanky didn't caught fire very well, so
they put some raki on it.
There
was also a very long-lasting dance. Jiska and Tani were leading and some
guests were following. Every time one of the guests would like to give some
money to the couple, he took his place in front and was dancing for several
minutes, waving with his gift. Then the next guests took his place.
It
is a kind of tradition in Holland to give a little present to all the guests
to thank them for being at the wedding. At home we had bought some pens
and wrapped them in cellophane. In our apartment we put on a ribbon with
a card of thanks and a picture of the couple. They appreciated this very
much. They said the pen was a symbol to subscribe the marriage.
Later
that evening there seems to be a guy among the guests who performs as Elvis
Presley in Korfu in summertime. So he sang some real rock-and-roll songs
for us. Of course people were doing the twist during this songs and one
person was a real master-of-rock-and-roll. It was amazing how much energy
some people had. There were people who only sat down for 1 hour all evening.
At 2 o'clock the party was over and everybody went home. Lucky for them
they don't have so many alcohol-controls in Albania. They told us we have
been aware of a real traditional Albanian wedding, mainly because of the
music some relatives played. I can say we really enjoyed it.
Next morning our daughter phoned us and she was in a bit of a panic. What
do I have to do to get my hair in a normal shape? Tani was afraid it would
break. We sent a sms to our hairdresser in Holland for some advise. After
a few minutes he responded so she could show herself again after a while.
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using text and/or photo's of this account of journey is only allowed after
written permission of the author.
